Thursday 13 August 2015

Blaugust 13, 2015: Food Post! Also Quiz Answers

I've been eating well lately. Today I thought I might point you in the direction of a couple of places that I have eaten that might be of interest.

Taste of the Himalayas
I was taken here as a birthday treat by a dear friend. I have quite enjoyed Nepalese cuisine on the few occasions I have tried it, and they certainly did not disappoint. The service was friendly and highly attentive, and the atmosphere welcoming and calming.

I had their 'Dhaal Bhaat Tarkari' vegetarian platter, which consists of everyone's favourite lentil curry, a mixed vegetable curry, and stir fried pickled spinach and tomato all served with rice. I chose to accompany this with a serve of Himalayan Cheese Roti, stuffed with cheese, coriander, and red onion.


The meal was delicious. Not too spicy, quite full of flavour. Very accessible unless you are as picky an eater as I was as a boy.

It also took me by surprise as to how full I felt afterwards. As you know, friends, I am able to pack away a fair bit of food and still come back for more, but this had me feeling very satisfied indeed. I must have them reveal their secrets!

The Hub
This little Gumeracha cafe blew me away. I went in expecting middle of the road burgers and other takeaway fare, and instead had one of the better burgers I have experienced.

Situated on the main drag, I get the impression that they have only been there a little while. With a freshly done up exterior, and an interior combining a few standard wooden tables and chairs with some nice couch seating. The service was excellent and very friendly, and I genuinely believe these folks deserve to succeed.

I chose the 'Aussie Classic', a fairly simple burger by their standards which contained a 100% Australian black angus beef patty with freshly sliced tomato, beetroot, caramelised onion, tasty cheese, and loads of salad greens, for $9.50.

My companion chose the 'Cooktown Classic', containing a chicken schnitzel, triple smoked free range bacon, tasty cheese, Queensland pineapple, freshly sliced tomato, gourmet salad greens and garlic aioli, for $12.50.

For an additional $3, you get a can of soft drink and a serve of beer-battered chips. We chose to do this for just one of the burgers. I didn't want liquid sugar, and I was confident that I'd end up eating half of the chips anyway.

I noted when our food came out that their portions were generous. A good sized lightly toasted burger roll, a nice thick beef patty, loads of salad greens in perfect proportion to the other ingredients. A very good start, and it all looked and smelled great.

My burger was fantastic. Juicy, perfectly cooked beef with just the right shade of pink in the middle. The texture of the patty was amazing, and the flavours of the ingredients blended wonderfully in the mouth.

When we were considering what to get, the owners extolled the virtues of the chicken their butcher had brought in. One of the best they had ever seen. Although some of you know that after having chickens as pets I gave up eating their meat because I'm a giant sook, I have on two other occasions done so: Once at a work barbecue many years ago when I judged it was too much of a hassle not to for social reasons (not the greatest workplace, not the greatest decision), and once fairly recently when there was some pizza that would otherwise have gone to waste. But this time I accepted a bite when it was offered gratefully, and I can honestly say that she was one fine, fine tasting bird. If ever they have a bird of that quality again, I'm getting a chicken burger just that once. Wow.

The burgers we chose were a long way from their most complicated. Ask about their 'Parmigeddon' and 'Meatasaurus' burgers if you want to feel like you have eaten an entire large animal.

They also make burgers from lamb and fish, and they do what sounds like an excellent set of vegetarian burgers into the bargain.


They also sell a fair few of the old takeaway standards, likely with a twist in keeping with the exceptional quality of their burgers.

On Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights they do pizzas, up to 18" size, and on weekends and public holidays they fire up their 1950s doughnut machine and make hot cinnamon doughnuts fresh for customers.

Spectacular, and the price is well and truly right. I'm going back.

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QUIZ ANSWERS!

John did very well indeed!

1) What should your motto be according to Richard IV of England, Scotland and Ireland?

I'll let the man himself answer this one. The answer is the first bit.


2) Errol Flynn played the titular character in this 1935 swashbuckling adventure, co-starring Olivia de Havilland.

I was hoping to fool folk here and have people answer with The Adventures of Robin Hood, which also starred Flynn with de Havilland. But no, the correct answer is Captain Blood.


3) What sort of radiation has a wavelength from about 800 nm to 1 mm, and is emitted particularly by heated objects?

Infrared. 

4) What was the name of the only supporting feature to ever attack the main film?

The Crimson Permanent Assurance!

5) Which spice is made from the rhizome of Zingiber officinale?

Ginger!

6) In the film 'Clue', which character was portrayed by Lesley Ann Warren?

Miss Scarlet.

7) What was the name of the first novel to feature John H. Watson?

A Study In Scarlet. Sorry John, always pick the alliterative option!

8) Who was also known as l'Éminence rouge?

Cardinal Richelieu.

9) Who is the host of the demon Etrigan?

Jason Blood.

10) What is the common name of Vulpes vulpes?

The Red Fox.

And there we have it, the theme was types of red. I went a little heavy on the 'blood', but those were the easiest to go with.

Wednesday 12 August 2015

Blaugust 12B, 2015: Spinning Wheels Get the Kick.

Sometimes I find it very hard to focus on things that I am supposed to be doing, such as catching up on writing these Blaugust blaugs, or even want to be doing. This makes achieving goals very difficult indeed. Today, as is often the case, my mind is completely preoccupied by questions that should rightly be placed in the near future along with extensive analysis of events in the past. They are both unrelated to the here and now, what I can accomplish today, but they are dominating my thoughts so completely that I have struggled to focus.

When I'm in this situation, I first have to abandon anything that requires creative thinking. As my thoughts are dominated by other things, spending more time in my head trying to force my thinking down another track isn't productive at all and just reinforces the problem. As such I still haven't written my next story for Dave's game of prompts despite having the outline in my head for half a week.
 

I then might choose to do things that I can do without having to think about them. Options include cooking, cleaning, exercising, weeding, and anything else I can do completely on autopilot. These tasks are often things that I normally avoid because I've got nothing going on upstairs, I focus on the tedium of the task, and I get bored. But because my thoughts are full and not idle I can motor through in these conditions.

It helps a great deal if I can get outside to do this. Fresh air, sunshine and birdsong are refreshing.

If the task is suitably repetitive, and especially if it contains a rhythmic physical component like swinging a mattock, I tend to reach a point where I stop thinking at all for a while. I can't do it from the other direction, when my mind is empty, because I am acutely aware of this and look for things to fill it. But if I get a good rhythm going when the wheels are spinning hard, sometimes they will just silently stop. Perfectly thoughtless, lost in the moment and the motion.

Today I cooked a nice pumpkin soup, which involved lots of chopping. I did the dishes, too. Finally I exercised, hitting the rowing machine before following it up with a walk to my post office box, then more rowing again. I didn't achieve a moment of zen, but it certainly calmed things down.

Another possibility is to write in a descriptive stream of consciousness style, explaining some aspect of what is going on in my head. Although I am never happy with what I produce under these conditions, as I think far faster than I can type and thoughts compete for keystrokes, it does help to order the basics.

I decided not to talk about what I've been thinking about today as I'll probably save that for another post. But I have chosen to explain my process here in order to satisfy my writing goal and help restore some Blaugust discipline on a day when all creativity perforce went right out the window. It is mildly self-indulgent, but what is Blaugust if not an exercise in self-indulgence?

Tuesday 11 August 2015

Blaugust 12A, 2015: Let's Get Quizzical

So! I missed a couple of days! Tut tut indeed. But I have some time today, and will endeavour to make them up. Thus I am planning three items today, of which this shall be the first. So without further ado, A WEDNESDAY QUIZ.

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This one is fairly nerdy, with a lot of entertainment trivia.

As usual, please post your answers in the comments so I can feel better about how badly I do at your quizzes. No peeking at the internet for hints! I'll post the answers tomorrow most likely.


1) What should your motto be according to Richard IV of England, Scotland and Ireland?

2) Errol Flynn played the titular character in this 1935 swashbuckling adventure, co-starring Olivia de Havilland.


3) What sort of radiation has a wavelength from about 800 nm to 1 mm, and is emitted particularly by heated objects?

4) What was the name of the only supporting feature to ever attack the main film?

5) Which spice is made from the rhizome of Zingiber officinale?

6) In the film 'Clue', which character was portrayed by Lesley Ann Warren?

7) What was the name of the first novel to feature John H. Watson?

8) Who was also known as l'Éminence rouge?

9) Who is the host of the demon Etrigan?

10) What is the common name of Vulpes vulpes?


Sunday 9 August 2015

Blaugust 9, 2015: Old Man Yells At Clouds (again)

I'm a grumpy old bastard, right? You all know that I'll find a cloud to yell at, most days, unless I'm in one of those horrible things people call a 'good mood'.

Something I've been meaning to get off my chest for a while is how irritated I get at other people's reactions to things.

I can't accurately convey how annoying I find it when people react to a photo with the word, "blessed". I'm not even entirely certain why I feel this way. It usually happens when someone posts a photo of their happy family; mum, dad, children, dog, goat. One of their friends, almost assuredly a woman, will then respond to the photo with that one irritating little word.

I get what they are saying! They are saying that it is a wonderful thing to have a happy family, life must be good, you are blessed for having such adorable kids, etcetera etcetera etcetera.

Is it the word that I am irritated by? Or is it jealousy about what these people have that I don't, and I'm just projecting it onto the word? There is probably a little of that, but I hold that it is still predominantly the word. It is just... such a lazy simplification of sentiment and gives me the impression that the person posting it is a wide-eyed simpleton going through life with bluebirds on their shoulders like a fucking Disney princess.

It is also used in a very prescriptive fashion. I don't see it applied with anything near that nauseating frequency to gay couples, to happily single people taking holidays alone, or to expressions of joy at life's other simple pleasures such as a good cup of tea. Although a happy family is certainly a blessed thing, it is not the only blessed thing, and the disproportionate bias in usage is annoying.

"So don't tell me about your success
Nor your recipes for my happiness
Smoke in bed
I never could digest
Those illusions you claim to have going"


With the recent tragic death of Adelaide Crows coach Phil Walsh came an outpouring of grief. My feed had a fair few people expressing shock and disbelief that such a thing could happen, and a couple of people even wondered, "what is the world coming to?"

Although I felt and feel a great deal of sympathy for his family, I got very frustrated. I wanted to respond to these sentiments by pointing out that we live in a world where child soldiers kill each other in other people's wars, cartels murder schoolchildren in Mexico by the bus-load, and all the while the rich get richer at everyone else's expense. A local football coach dies and suddenly people have a tiny, fleeting glimpse of grim reality?

Obviously I didn't, because I'm not a complete dickhead. People felt connected to the guy, and felt sad, and that's a good thing and fair enough. But I have for a long time been supremely frustrated that people seem to go through life uncaring with blinkers on until something bad happens to *them*, making decisions purely out of self interest into the bargain. I'd appreciate it if people stopped to think about those who aren't a part of their day to day a little more often.

"The sun is shining, as it's always done
Coffin dust is the fate of everyone"

Saturday 8 August 2015

Blaugust 8, 2015: Getting To The Guts Of It

As many of you know, I gave up chocolate about nine months ago now. Well, 'gave up' is perhaps a touch strong; rather I put such severe restrictions on how I consume chocolate that I pretty much don't.

I'd forced myself to take a break from chocolate for a month or so, because I realised I was having trouble controlling myself with it. When I let myself have chocolate again, I was convinced I had self-control back, but I soon found myself three large packets of FruChocs deep and swore, 'never again'.

My rules are as follows:

- I am not allowed to eat milk or white chocolate.
- I am allowed to eat a small amount of plain dark chocolate if I want, especially with Scotch.
- I am allowed to eat chocolate that is used as an ingredient in something else, so long as it is reasonably transformed and not just chocolate bits on top of something.
- Chocolate-covered anythings are still chocolate and right out.
- Hot chocolate is OK.

I've not had trouble with chocolate since. However, in the absence of this vice, other vices have... flourished. My intake of pasta has increased almost to my teenage levels, I'm eating more icecream, and you'd better not let me near a packet of Jam Fancies. There were a couple of weeks there where I was buying a kilo of Apricot slice to go through.

This week I ate four 1L tubs of Connoisseur icecream, so it is time to cut out another easy vice. I go into this knowing my other vices will all get slightly worse to compensate, but ridding myself of something I can't stop myself with is a good move. So here are my rules:

- I am not allowed tubs of icecream or gelato for home, except ordinary non-fancy vanilla.

- I am allowed a small amount of vanilla icecream to accompany something else, such as pudding. I am not allowed to base my dessert on the icecream (no cones, sundaes, etc).
- I am allowed to eat icecream etc when I'm out, but not 'take home pack' sizes. No serving myself if I'm at someone else's house.
- I am allowed to make a special order from Gelato Bello of their Apricot flavour and be a fat bastard over it, but no more than once a year and I have to invite others to share.

So! One more vice ruined because I lack self-control! Let's hope I don't have to make it more strict still, and let's hope I can steer my vices toward still more tea instead of something more harmful. Though way too much tea isn't particularly good for me either. Bah! Where is the fun in moderation?

Friday 7 August 2015

Blaugust 7, 2015: Travel Cardboard & Bonus Quiz Answers

That excellent fellow over at Leaflocker asked, "If you had to go away for a few years, what are the five games you'd have to take?" We will assume there was an unspoken, "and why?" tacked on to the end there.

To understand my choices, you need to know that the attribute I value most highly in games is something I shall somewhat nebulously term 'flow'. If I were to attempt to define it, I'd say that it is that quality which allows you to easily lose yourself just quietly making your choices while sipping a cup of tea. These are games in which you can accept it gracefully when you realise you have made poor choices, games that give you the ability to adapt, games in which your turn generally consists of a decision, not a roll of the dice, and games in which your choices don't bog you down. No raised voices, a quiet afternoon with good friends. Gaming Zen.

The first game I'd pack would be Cribbage. At the core of Cribbage is a bog standard, versatile deck of playing cards which can be easily repurposed for any of a thousand other card games you might know, prominently including numerous forms of Solitaire for the lonely traveller. But I'd take the peg board too. Cribbage itself is very luck-based, and by no measure the most strategic of games, but it reminds me of my father, brothers, and Opa. Best played with an open bottle of Port and positive male role-models.

The second would be Coup, complete with the Reformation expansion. This game fits in a large pocket, can be enjoyed with up to ten players, and has so many great opportunities to mess each other up. Coup is a bluffing and memory game in which players are dealt face down two agents who they influence at court. They can claim the power of any type of agent they choose in order to take an action, but other players can attempt to call them out on this. If they do have that agent, the other player suffers a loss of influence. If they don't, they suffer a loss of influence. In the early phases of the game, practically everyone pretends they have a Duke and an Ambassador (or Inquisitor). Factions are shifted, assassinations are blocked, and coups are launched. The base set makes it a good game, but the expansion makes it a great game. Best played with a little bit of Scotch.

My third choice is Agricola. This Superior German Farming Simulator is one of the best board games of all time. OF ALL TIME. You take on the role of a farming family living in a wooden hut. Your goal is to improve your farm in order to feed your family, with the winner being the player who improves the lot of their little farming family the best. There isn't a great deal of player interaction, aside from the choices you make denying that choice to other players. But it is still a reasonably strategic offering for when you want to think about what you are doing. This game can be hit and miss for flowing well, but the good times more than make up for the bad ones. Best played with pizza, but make sure you have paper towels handy to keep the grease off of the cards and pieces.

My fourth choice is Jaipur, though I still don't own a copy of it yet. This neat little game is about canny trading of luxury goods and hoarding all the camels. There is something very special indeed about such an engaging two player game, and it works well when you are at home with your partner or catching up with a friend over tea. It possesses seriously superior 'flow'. There is minimal to no stress involved in playing this game, although your choices matter and your opponent can and will dick you over. The box is very small, and it is easily transported. Best played with Assam tea, and scones with jam and cream.

My fifth choice is Carcassonne, another game all about the superior 'flow' for me. In this game players take it in turns to build the countryside loosely themed as the city in France. You pick up a tile from the pile, place it wherever you like in a legal position, and then choose whether or not to place one of your meeples on the tile in one of several ways. It is a game about positioning to your own advantage, and anticipating the positioning of your opponents. Once a piece is placed it cannot be moved or removed until it scores, and your supply of meeples is quite limited. Although for up to 5 players, I find it immensely satisfying to play one on one. Although I continue to be very happy playing the base game, there are innumerable expansions which I am yet to play. I own many of them as I did buy myself one of the "Big Box" versions of Carcassonne, but if I were travelling and space was an issue I'd probably just take the base game plus the river expansion. I have a wonderful Carcassonne nemesis in Ale, who is a couple of games up at the moment I think curse her hide. Best played with Darjeeling and Jam Fancies.

So there you have the five games I'd pack were I going away for a couple of years. With the exception of Agricola and maybe Carcassonne, they all pack down extremely tightly indeed, and I'd be tempted to always pack one no matter the length of a trip.

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Answers to my slightly smug Bonus Quiz! Did you spot the theme?


In Neverwinter Nights 2, what is the name of the evil ranger who joins your party?

- Bishop

Which former Australian minister presided over a scandal involving kerosene baths?

- Bronwyn Bishop

Who was the eighth Catholic archbishop of Sydney?
- George Pell


Who did Ian Smith most famously portray?

- Harold Bishop

In the chess piece relative value system, which other piece has the same value as a knight?
- Bishop


Who is channel 10's long serving entertainment reporter?
- Angela Bishop


Which member of the X-men comes from a police force in a dystopian future?

- Bishop

Who said, "We was too late. The Reverend Grundy bit the ceiling"? A point each for the character and the actor.
- The Bishop, played by Terry Jones


Who was the first Australian politician to respond to an interview entirely in emoji?
- Julie Bishop


Who was the executive officer of the USS Sulaco?

- Bishop

Thursday 6 August 2015

Blaugust 6B, 2015: What to Write?

So I find myself pondering as to what I shall write about for the rest of the month. I have a few things in the bank, but it is good to explore new ideas. I currently have a terrible piece just about ready on one of my philosophical approaches to life, and have just begun one that attempts to explore my taste in whisky.

Unfortunately the latter is going to be a touch short, so I am considering expanding it to include tea, as well, though that could well be the subject of its own article.

I can always work something up on plants, be they natives or non-natives, edibles, weeds, or street trees. I have many more things to say about cardboard and other types of games, and I could always write more about AVCon this year.

Food is always a good topic, and I would have a lot to say about those types of foods that I have enormous difficulty putting down (far too many of them).


I could write about the ridiculous dreams I've had lately, including the one where my workplace, a plant nursery, purchased a single working Atari 2600 to stock, which I immediately bought with my staff discount.

I am also seriously considering writing a review piece comparing various cheddars available from supermarkets. Spoiler: Mainland Vintage is winning so far. It makes Bega "Strong & Bitey" taste like freaking Colby.

Other topics I could write about include anime, games, the sad state of television compared to when I was a boy, Auspol, and why Monty Python sketches just aren't as funny any more.

So I ask for your opinion, dear readers. What would you like me to write about? Let me know in the comments section and I promise I will seriously consider your opinions before inevitably casting them to the winds and writing about whatever takes my fancy at the time.

Wednesday 5 August 2015

Blaugust 6, 2015: QUIZ ANSWERS & Bonus Quiz

I hope you all enjoyed my little quiz yesterday! Well done to all of you, especially to that Pichy guy. He submitted his answers to me via IRC and successfully demonstrated that A) He knew the correct answers to 10 of the 12 questions, and that B) He is an incorrigible smartarse. <3

1) What biological control measure for which I am quite thankful at the moment was first trialled in Australia on Wardang Island in 1938?
- Sorry John, but it was indeed Myxomatosis.
 

2) What is the common name of Aquila audax?
- The Wedge-tailed Eagle, or "Cocky Slayer" according to Pichy.
 

3) What was the name of the shrubber in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"?
- Roger
 

4) Which famous Australian has the nickname "Skull"?
- Kerry O'Keeffe


5) In which country is Ardbeg?
- Scotland! It is a distillery.


6) What is the common name of Fragaria x ananassa?
- Strawberry


7) Who wrote "Leaf By Niggle"?
- JRR Tolkien


8) Who directed the movie adaptation of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"?
- Terry Gilliam


9) Who hosted "Come and Get It"?
- Peter G'day Russell-G'day-Clarke


10) What is the correct dump-stat in Dungeons and Dragons?
 - Charisma


11) Which former Australian minister first made the claim that passengers on SIEV 4 had threatened to throw children overboard?

- Philip Ruddock was first to make the claim.
 

12) What did I have for breakfast this morning?
- I'll accept 'cereal'. If anyone had guessed "3 Weet-Bix in hot milk, topped with cornflakes and Nutri-Grain", they would have immediately won the quiz forever.

---

And now, a bonus quiz!

In Neverwinter Nights 2, what is the name of the evil ranger who joins your party?

Which former Australian minister presided over a scandal involving kerosene baths?

Who was the eighth Catholic archbishop of Sydney?

Who did Ian Smith most famously portray?

In the chess piece relative value system, which other piece has the same value as a knight?

Who is channel 10's long serving entertainment reporter?

Which member of the X-men comes from a police force in a dystopian future?

Who said, "We was too late. The Reverend Grundy bit the ceiling"? A point each for the character and the actor.

Who was the first Australian politician to respond to an interview entirely in emoji?

Who was the executive officer of the USS Sulaco?

Blaugust 5, 2015: A QUIZ!

A QUIZ was due, and so a QUIZ you shall have. You know how these work: The quiz setter dumps a whole bunch of questions on you, the reader, that reflect his or her own intellectual biases with little to no regard to anyone else's predispositions.

1) What biological control measure for which I am quite thankful at the moment was first trialled in Australia on Wardang Island in 1938?

2) What is the common name of Aquila audax?

3) What was the name of the shrubber in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"?

4) Which famous Australian has the nickname "Skull"?

5) In which country is Ardbeg?

6) What is the common name of Fragaria x ananassa?

7) Who wrote "Leaf By Niggle"?

8) Who directed the movie adaptation of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"?

9) Who hosted "Come and Get It"?

10) What is the correct dump-stat in Dungeons and Dragons?

11) Which former Australian minister first made the claim that passengers on SIEV 4 had threatened to throw children overboard?

12) What did I have for breakfast this morning?


Pop your answers in the comments and I will judge you! Don't look at other people's responses until you have posted your own! Answers tomorrow.

Tuesday 4 August 2015

Blaugust 4, 2015: The Lost Temple of Koln Part 1

This post is also my entry in week one of Dave's Fantasy Challenge, in which we have to write 500-2,000 words of fantasy using two voted for prompts in a non-trivial fashion. This week we had 'skeletons' and 'gelatinous cube'. I went a little over the suggested word count, and I have to admit I copped out a little on the cube.

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As the oily rags stuffed in the stone mouth caught the flame from the torch, the great stone doors shuddered; shaking off the dust of unknown years before sliding into the surrounding rock. Anix looked down the revealed corridor, his thin tail twitching with excitement, a slight grin playing on his lips. "You've done it, Caro. Fire opens the seal, as the crone told us!"
"I know for you it might seem like a homecoming, Fiendling, but we are staring into the open mouth of hell".
"If you think some forgotten temple is hell you'll have a rude awakening when you die, my friend," countered Anix, his smile dancing across his handsome face.
Kalia stepped up behind Caro to put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You worry too much, old thief. Nagal guides plunderers like us and will hide us from the sight of the Flame!"
"But in Koln's own house, priest? Don't get me wrong I'm taking the chance, for a prize this great, but leave me my worry. It keeps me alive." Caro tugged at his greying beard as if for emphasis, the colour marking him as the elder of the group.

The fourth member of the party gestured to the opening with one delicate hand and a questioning look on his cruelly scarred face.
"You are right Janesz, let's go!" Anix was visibly eager, patting at his hatchets. The other two nodded, Kalia shouldering a stout pole about ten feet in length, Caro a thick wooden cudgel the length of his legs, wrapped with a cloth grip and a loop of leather to go around the hand.
Caro looked to the silent elf. "If you would speak us some light...?"
Janesz nodded, and opened his mouth. It could not be said that he spoke, as he said nothing that could be called a word in any language, and the sound made the rest of the party vaguely uncomfortable. Two balls of light appeared at the fingertips on his left hand. One he placed on the tip of Caro's cudgel, staining it as if with illuminating ink. The other he plucked with his right hand and placed in the air by his shoulder, where it bobbed merrily, shifting behind his head from shoulder to shoulder with a slight buzzing as if an insect.

The entrance corridor was unremarkable, a straight tunnel leading slightly downward into darkness. The floor was carefully cut squares of stone, the walls and ceiling solid rock worked nearly to a flat plane by many hands. Although four could easily walk abreast Caro led the way, carefully inspecting the path ahead with his lit cudgel, occasionally pausing to carefully inspect a crack in the stone, or have Kalia tap at the paving with her pole. Janesz was third, and Anix brought up the rear, occasionally peering behind them. It was always safer to follow in Caro's footsteps.

After around two hundred paces they found themselves in front of a large stone door, this decorated by a flame wearing a crown, the ancient symbol of Koln's priesthood. On each side of the door was an unlit brazier set into the wall, and empty seats in which guards would once have sat.

After declaring the door safe, Caro motioned Anix forward to push it open. The chamber on the other side was large, and they could not see the far wall. Janesz motioned to his little bobbing light, and it buzzed toward the centre of the room. With an arcane whisper from its master it brightened for a moment, illuminating a large circular chamber with seven doors around the wall, one of which they were peering in from. Five were of wood, some smashed, some simply open. One other, on the far side of the chamber, was of stone with a matching flame motif. Hung from the ceiling were a number of braziers which would once have lit the chamber brightly.

The floor was strewn with smashed furniture and the remnants of a long ago violence. Dried blood stained the stone near the skeletal remains of a few slain acolytes in faded red robes, and an armoured Knight of Koln, burnished steel breastplate deformed as by a heavy strike from a mace, lay slumped against the far door, rotted hand still clasping a the remains of a sword by his side. Some now unidentifiable beast the size of a bull was dead nearby, the floor stained a strange blue from where it had bled out. Four arrows jutted out from between its ribs, and its head was battered into a mess of bone fragments and dried skin.

It didn't take Caro long to clear the chamber, as any traps in an area meant for regular habitation would have been improvised after the battle, and soon they were all looking around. "It looks like you were right, Janesz. The marauders took what they could when they couldn't open the door to the inner sanctum."
Janesz acknowledged this with a slight smile.
"I know we'll find more of the same, but shall we check the other chambers anyway?" asked Anix. 


Beyond the first door was a store-room of some kind, stripped bare. Beyond the second door was a bathing chamber, in which bronze plumbing had once carried water through from beyond the wall, in the direction of the next chamber. Much of the pipework had clearly been stripped and taken. A side chamber contained a number of pit toilets, one with the corpse of a Knight of Koln stuffed in head first.

The third door gave way to a series of chambers that had once been a dining hall, a kitchen, and a storeroom for food. Against one wall was a ladder leading up to a large cistern set higher than the chambers, and a two-person pump. The cistern was now empty.

Within the kitchen was a smashed trapdoor leading downward, with steps carved into the stone below as rungs on a ladder. "Should we see where it leads?" asked Anix. Janesz sent his light down in response. Peering through the hole Anix could make out a few objects. "There is some sort of slime on the floor, but I can't see what. A suit of armour, not Kolnite, I think, and an axe-head. A metal helmet, a bowl, a handful of coins?" He made to clamber down the ladder but was stopped by both Janesz and Caro. Janesz shook his head meaningfully and made his hand-sign for danger.
Caro elaborated further "There'll be a jelly cube down there. A slime creature that eats wood, flesh, bone and leather and leaves only metals and stone."
Anix looked sceptical.
"It's how they got rid of their trash, lad. That pit probably connects to the dunnies too. No point going down there and asking for more trouble than we already have coming." The scarred elf nodding emphatically at that.
Anix sighed at the two of them. "Spoilsports. I suppose you agree, Kalia?"
"No need for me to say it", she smiled.

The last three doors yielded only looted living chambers and a few more corpses. In the last, Janesz stood for a moment, before holding up a finger as if exclaiming. He pointed to four beds in turn, making a count on his fingers. With a theatrical flourish he counted two of the corpses on the ground in the same manner, then made a sweeping gesture indicating the surroundings.
Kalia frowned. "Yes. Yes! Too few bodies for so many beds! You are wondering where they are?"
Janesz smiled and shook his head, leading the way back to the central chamber, where he gestured to the inner stone door.

After clearing the body and other debris away from the door, and a thorough examination of the outside, Caro took out the cloth-wrapped bundle they had obtained from the crone. It contained an ornate steel key the size of a long dagger, inlaid with gold at the base in the familiar flame motif of Koln. They key had cost them a hefty sum, but the rumoured prize was worth it. 

It fit easily into the lock in the centre of the stone door, but turned with great difficulty, the mechanism it drove having long been dormant. Eventually a loud clunk was heard, and they pushed the door inward. It took Anix and Kalia both, as there seemed to be some obstruction. Caro stood to the side, ready to poke his cudgel inside to see what would be revealed.

"It's a body". Caro could see an arm through the foot they had managed to open. He carefully slid through, eyeing the passage beyond for any hint of danger, and dragged it away from the door, allowing the others to get it open the rest of the way.
When they were all beyond the door, Kalia examined the corpse, another dead Knight of Koln, with armour and sword. "These markings. It seems he was burned in places."
"Look here!" Caro called them further down the corridor. "Bones. Clean and blackened". The complete skeleton of a person lay only slightly scattered at his feet, one humerus broken, ribs nicked, and the skull sheared in two. There was no evidence of clothing, or items of any kind.
"Be wary of the dead from here on out", said Kalia kicking the parts of the skull away from the rest of the bones.

The corridor extended only some ten paces beyond the door before a set of stone steps plunged down into blackness. On Caro's advice, Kalia's pole led the way, checking the steps and the space above them, though she needn't have bothered. They reached the bottom and found themselves at the open threshold of another large chamber into which Janesz sent his light. Thirty blackened skeletons, standing around the circular chamber, turned to regarded them as flames filled the stair behind them.

The heat of the fire forced them forward as with the clicking of bone on stone the skeletons ambled toward them, exhibiting an unnatural grace.
"Buy me time!" cried Kalia, as she grasped at the icon hanging from her neck before beginning to mumble prayers.

Caro and Anix stood at the fore, cudgel and hatchets at the ready. Kalia behind them, with Janesz who simply watched and waited. The nearest two skeletons charged, arms outstretched, pinpricks of eldritch light in their eye sockets. Anix ducked under the grasping arms of the first, bringing both hatchets into the skeleton's sides, one shattering part of the ribcage and the other neatly shearing the spine. Caro was slower, batting off the first grasping bony hand but the other grabbed his forearm, causing him to cry out in pain. "They're burning!" Anix saved him with a quick kick to the legs of the skeleton, knocking it off balance and allowing Caro to bring his cudgel down with a heavy two-handed swing which shattering the skull of his foe. "Don't let them touch you," he warned, nursing his arm, as Kalia continued to mumble.

The remaining skeletons had gathered into a group, a shimmering distortion of light evident around them as of a great heat as they closed in. Janesz spoke unwords of power and Caro and Anix felt a chill as their skin took on a blue, icy hue.
Anix grinned and leapt at the nearest skeleton and shouted, "Thanks Elf!" Caro more cautiously moving to back him up. Anix was a wild dervish, delivering whiplike strikes to bone while dodging most attempts to touch him. Those few that did connect did not burn him, steam instead rising from his skin. And so it was with Caro as he battered stoutly at the throng of grinning skulls. The two were still receiving cuts and gashes from the sharp bone for their efforts, but held back the throng.


Kalia strode into their midst, icon of her order held forth. "Dead bones moving, bound to this place by the shackles of Order, disperse! Disperse unto the dust of Chaos! Go now to the final fate of all living things! Disperse!" With a burst of multi-hued brilliance, power slammed outward from Kalia into the surrounding skeletons. The nearest turned to dust instantly, those further away crumbled to the ground in splinters of bone, the unnatural heat vanishing as they fell.

Kalia slumped to the ground breathing heavily from exertion. They were safe again for the moment.

Monday 3 August 2015

Blaugust 3, 2015: Winter Warmers

I do tend to be a little unrestrained with food and drink around July and August. I think it is a combination of the cold weather, short days, and the birthday season that triggers my indulgence in such comforts. Today I'll talk about a few eateries I have been enjoying lately.

Bracegirdle's is a local chocolate shop/cafe business run by a former teacher of mine and his wife, a chocolatier. They make an exceptional hot chocolate; rich, creamy, and with near perfect froth. Many of you are aware that I've had some strict rules about the consumption of chocolate for the last nine months, as I have serious self control issues when it comes to food. Chocolate used as an ingredient is one of the few ways I can indulge in it, and so this is an excellent treat for me. Comes in milk, dark, or white.

A big, hearty breakfast is important in Winter, especially if you have a bit of a hangover from a weekend of conventioning while a little ill, and two little drinks at an after party. I ended up at Our Little Cafe in Mt Barker on the Monday afternoon post-AVCon. Unfortunately positioned on the shady side of the street, and thus never as busy as they deserve, they dish up a solid all day breakfast. While not as fancy as some, a plate with eggs, toast, bacon, sausage, tomato, mushrooms, and a hash brown is pretty darn good. Add to that an order of Canadian crumpets with butter, bacon, and maple syrup, and you are on your way to a happy stomach. Their vegetarian option is good too.

If you are feeling a little fancier with your breakfast cravings, try Aldgate Providore & Cafe. Though a little less recent, I went there for a hangover cure after Tamara and Paul's excellent wedding. Everything was delicious, my only problem with it being I wanted more on my plate/board.

Nairne is happily home to what many believe to be the best Indian restaurant in the state, Chingari. It is definitely the best of the half dozen or so that I have tried. Their Vindaloo is superb, expertly combining blazing heat and rich flavour that lingers perfectly, where other restaurants would sacrifice one for the other. The owner did me a favour when I had a cold with a Vindaloo just before closing recently, which I won't forget in a hurry. Some of their dishes tend to vary a little, possibly depending on who cooks them, or whether it is at the start or end of a pot or some such, but the Mutter Mushroom, Aloo Ghobi, and Beef Pasenda all get very big ticks of approval from me. My mother will also rave about their Naan, and she can't find any to match it in Melbourne.

Although the exact opposite of a "Winter Warmer", I will include Gelato Bello here because I have been there more times than were good for me recently. Though I do love their chocolate, vanilla, and caramel flavours, they really shine when it comes to the fruits. Their apple and banana gelati are amazing, but the real star of their current range is the mango. The only one I have ever had that beats it is their Apricot flavour. It is an absolute travesty that it was unpopular enough that it got discontinued, and I frequently threaten to make a special order of a couple of tubs one Summer soon.

Sunday 2 August 2015

Blaugust 2, 2015: Elysium

Today I was supposed to be going to a family birthday party out at Dad's place, for the half dozen of us with July and August birthdays. Unfortunately this got cancelled due to a couple of illnesses. So, left with a Sunday to fill, I did what any sensible person would do and stayed in bed until midday. Admittedly I was up temporarily to make myself some porridge since I don't have anyone around to make it for me, but I got back in bed pronto.

After that, I spent the afternoon murdering English Ivy, brushcutting the 'lawn', and applying the chainsaw to logs of wood I got from work. All in all, a very normal-person kind of Sunday. The only problem with this is that it isn't exactly inspiring Blaugust content, so I'm going to talk about board games instead like an enormous nerd (I know my audience!).

Elysium is my current jam. I was first exposed thanks to a promotional copy AVCon was given for use at the most recent event. Being in charge of the board games, it was obviously my duty to try it, so I took one for the team along with John and Ale. I ended up loving the game and buying my own copy after the convention was over.

Elysium is essentially a set collection game, with a few interesting twists. First, taking cards requires that you have a particular coloured pillar available, you needn't spend it. However, you are then required to reduce your future choices by sacrificing one of your coloured pillars. This makes for interesting gameplay as you are managing versatility, not resource use. Your opponents can see what choices remain to you on future turns, and either frustrate your goals or try to avoid having their goals frustrated by you.

Second, the cards you are collecting are kept in one of two areas: Your active area (Domain) where cards can do things, and your scoring area (Elysium) where your cards are placed in sets to score points at the end of them game. All cards are first placed in your Domain, and then you have to figure out when and how to best transfer them down. Transfers are a themselves a somewhat scarce resource, operating in tandem with gold.

Third, player order changes throughout the game. This is managed by players having to select a 'quest' at some point during the card acquisition phase. Each quest has a number of gold, transfers, victory points, and a position number. Once the acquisition phase is complete, the transfer or 'Elysium' phase commences, and players first adjust their positions in the player order before gaining the appropriate resources. Finally they transfer the cards they want and are able to transfer, before the next acquisition phase commences.

Player order is important as certain bonuses for sets are only available to the first or second player to complete them. Further, a better position in the order naturally gives you more card choices next time around. In a given round (epoch) it is often a sensible option to forgo an early pick of the cards in favour of getting the most advantageous quest, positioning yourself for the next epoch.

Fourth, the game has eight 'families' of cards, representing gods of Greek myth. During the setup, five are selected to form the play deck, the combination of families heavily influencing the style of play dynamics in the game. So far, I have only played with the suggested starting five, and have found play interesting and lively across the half dozen games I have played. I am looking forward to trying some new combinations which will significantly alter the strategies involved.

The suggested starting families are Zeus, Hephaestus, Athena, Poseidon, and Hades. Zeus cards primarily give direct victory points while in your domain, and suit a player who prefers to accumulate these during the game instead of relying on points for sets at the end of the game. Hephaestus cards augment the accumulation of gold, which is used for paying for transfers. Further, some Hephaestus cards allow the conversion of gold to points, which is otherwise impossible. Athena cards allow for card cycling, better use of citizens (wild cards which when used in sets attract a minor score penalty), and improved versatility in general. Poseidon is the most aggressive of the families, with cards that force card discards, and loss of gold and victory points (importantly affecting all other players). Hades cards are, fairly obviously, useful for giving more transfers than would otherwise be possible.

Currently I have encountered two very hard to beat strategies utilising the starting set. The first involves attempting to make a set with five 'Gathering' cards, one from each family. These cards grant a point bonus for each card within the set from different families, allowing a maximum of five bonus points per card, and thus twenty five for a set of five of them, on top of the regular scoring for the set, and the likely bonus award for a full set of rank one cards. This, in addition to another set or two and some in-game point accumulation is extremely strong, and it is advisable to prevent a player from dominating the Gatherings.

The second involves direct point gain and augmentation with Zeus, ideally supplemented with gold to points conversion from Hephaestus. Zeus has cards that grant additional points for points already held. If you focus on direct accumulation throughout the game, and are allowed to take these cards, the resulting bonus is formidable indeed. If you are lucky enough to get 'Sacrifice', the Hephaestus card that allows you to directly trade gold for points during the game, you can make this build truly scary.


The three families I am yet to try are Ares, Apollo, and Hermes. Ares cards add a mechanic called 'Prestige Points' (PP), which grant a sum of victory points determined by your PP relative to the other players. Apollo cards allow you to access cards that are not yet available for selection during this epoch, essentially allowing you to select things ahead of others. Hermes cards allow a degree of re-use for already discharged effects, and otherwise tweak situations to your advantage.

I am interested to see what strategies will come out of the combinations I have not tried. The 'Gathering' strategy will be present no matter the combination, but no Zeus will certainly make things a little interesting. I am particularly keen to try a fairly aggressive game, using Poseidon, Ares, Hermes, Athena, and probably Hades.

In any case, is is clear that I have a lot to learn yet and I'll be playing this game with friends whenever I get the opportunity. I heartily recommend you give it a go.

Saturday 1 August 2015

Blaugust 1, 2015: Blaugventions

Ladies and gentlemen, once again I'm back for Blaugust, that most auspicious of calendar months. As is traditional, I shall now declare the rules I'm following:

1) I shall write a minimum of 31,000 words for the month.
2) I shall write a minimum of 31 posts.
3) I shall endeavour to have new content up each day, but I'll forgive myself if I don't.

Knowing me there will be more than a couple of posts about plants, probably a couple about games, and I hope you will stick around when I inevitably delve into my psyche, pull up some dreck, and put it on display for all to see (Though I made myself a promise to be less maudlin this year, which disappointed Thom. Unfortunately for him I've been in a good mood lately so I'll probably manage it. Oh well Thom, there are always the later seasons of M*A*S*H!).

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Some of you may not know that I came back to AVCon this year after a long dummy-spit. That delightful scamp John (or was it Ale?) asked if I'd like to run a board games section, and because I'm a mad fool I even said yes! I'd returned as an attendee last year, but it was an empty experience as nearly everyone I'd wanted to catch up with was busy running things. This may have influenced my decision.

On the whole, I had an excellent time. There are ways in which I wish I had been better prepared, though John and Ale and Denzil picked up my slack (Thohn, Thale, Thenzil). There were also many things that hadn't been considered ahead of time by anyone that we now know to improve in the future. But for a first time out, for AVCon-run tabletop, it kicked butt.

It was good to be involved again, especially in such a way as to be insulated from any potential committee politics, drama, worry, or fury-building. I was able to contribute to running something in association with a bunch of my friends and have people enjoy what we'd done, which was what AVCon was for me in the beginning. I have declared that Tabletop should be the AVCon Retirement Village for tired old warhorses, and I'm actively recruiting (assuming they'll let me be involved again next year).

Importantly for an introverted nerd like me it was a great chance to be social. There were a good dozen people I got to talk to that I haven't seen in years, and it was an excellent chance to get to know a few folk I'd only seen on the periphery of my social circles. I even got to meet a few interesting new people, of all things. Once upon a time AVCon people were the best people, and it seems like things are almost coming full circle for me in that regard. Good old AVCon.

My other convention experience this year is going to be PAX in Melbourne. A few of us are planning a road trip, which should be delightful. As I'll be one of the drivers I promise I'll take maddening detours to see plants.

PAX is unlike AVCon. I went last year as an enforcer (volunteer), which was a good experience but I found that there was so much to see and do that having half of my convention time taken up with what was essentially work left me with too few opportunities. I suspect that given a year or two of attendance I'll get this out of my system, but for now I'm genuinely interested in the panels, the demonstrations, the tabletop hall...

Oh my but the tabletop hall is wondrous; a magnificent sight to behold. It is very likely I'll spend a fair bit of time there, shopping and playing games with friends and strangers. So this time around PAX gets my money and not my effort.